if i was playing jeopardy: cynical 20something edition, here are my dream categories:

– waking up drunk and lo fi noise rock of the 90s

– cooking for 20 on 30 bucks including beer

– canadian geography for americans

– no i will not fix your computer

– pop culture, 3 steps removed

– what rock cures multiple sclerosis?

– doing the impossible, nightly


here is a post, once squirreled away on facebook, that i do not want to lose:

i should start by saying that this isn’t fair. not only is the other participant unarmed, they don’t even know there is an arms race to begin with (and, knowing them, wouldn’t care to join in).


but i am nothing if not thorough when it comes to research and equipping — a skill honed after years and years of tactical RPGs, and strategic packing for poverty jet setting sessions that, by all accounts, shouldn’t have happened but did anyway.


so i will compare lincoln to a video game. every action has a much-exaggerated reaction for many reasons. moves made at jake’s under the influence of cloves and moscow mules will be worth double experience points because twice as many eyes are paying attention than you assume. battles retreated from for the sake of not engaging in something that’s futile are infinitely more shameful under the lens of motivations. spells cast in dark basements or empty fields for good or ill are that much more risky and rewarding.


since i’m not a lincoln native, i don’t understand all the rules yet. the combat systems are just starting to seem manipulatable to me. i understand the risk i took in getting the information the-person-who-knows-me-too-well warned me against (sorry, pendragon). but am not entirely sure about the consequences yet.


i can only assume, that, since this is lincoln, they will be catastrophic.



here is a conversation that makes my interactions seem like some kind of scripted indie show.

“lincoln is built as a grid. except in the suburbs, where all bets are off.”

“lincoln is wayyyyy too convoluted to be a grid. we need to spend an afternoon and construct our venn diagram of relationships.”

“i’m just saying, it was built as a grid originally. that’s why the game play has such exceptions. we fused another board atop the first one.”

“from a completely different game. it’s like a mousetrap board ontop of chess.”

“i’d play that.”

“we are playing it.”